


I Ache For You

by Imoshen



Series: SPN ABO Bingo 2019 [20]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Balthazar, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Omega Castiel, Pining Sickness, they deserved to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22962991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imoshen/pseuds/Imoshen
Summary: Castiel's mate is dead. He suffers in silence, but in the meantime, there's a civil war in Heaven. Only not everything is as it seems.
Relationships: Balthazar/Castiel (Supernatural)
Series: SPN ABO Bingo 2019 [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1340272
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39





	I Ache For You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SPN A/B/O Bingo for the square Pining Sickness.

He’s getting weaker.

He didn’t notice it, what with the mad race against time, against Hell, against Heaven, against Lucifer and Michael. He functioned and didn’t think of anything but what his self-chosen mission was.

Now that is over, and Castiel aches. His vessel’s bones hurt every day, his Grace feels weak and sluggish. He yearns for his mate, but his mate disappeared from Heaven when the civil war broke out. Castiel heard of his death, but he doesn’t want to believe it.

He didn’t fight this hard, didn’t defy orders and set Michael on fire only for his mate do _die_ by the hands of another Angel.

Castiel claims he doesn’t sleep, but some nights he still curls up in a quiet place somewhere and closes his eyes, wraps himself in his wings and attempts to rest in the desperate hope that it will help. Of course, it never does. He rises just as aching and alone as he bedded down.

Then it gets worse.

He smells his mate on the wind sometimes. Other times, he’s convinced he feels a touch to his Grace that holds the imprint of his mate. He starts being twitchy and wonders if this is what going insane feels like.

He needs to end the war in Heaven, and then he needs to find out what happened to his mate. If he’s truly dead… well, Castiel can at least avenge him before he pines himself to death. Because he knows that is what awaits at the end of this.

He can only hope his vessel doesn’t betray him and go into heat before he accomplishes his goals.

It’s morning again, Castiel realizes when the light against his wing changes. He groans as he tucks the appendage away and stares at the feathers drifting down.

Well, fuck.

It takes all his concentration to fly to where the Winchesters are, to keep his condition a secret from them. Too much hinges on his appearance as the Seraph who defied death, who was returned to the living. He aches to lean into the brothers for a while, let them warm him. He’s so cold these days, always so cold. His willpower is dwindling, and he’s so very close to giving up. The only thing that still keeps him going is the thought that he might find out what happened to his mate. His scent on the wind is a comfort today instead of another burden to bear, and Castiel considers it a good omen as he leaves again to find the merchant who might have weapons of Heaven… and maybe some information about his mate.

The scent tells him who the mysterious merchant is even before he steps into the light.

“ _Balthazar_ ,” he croaks, his knees going weak. The other seraph looks shocked as he leaps to catch Castiel. His arms are real, Castiel thinks weakly, raising a hand to cling to the tight shirt his mate clad his vessel in.

“Cassie, what the fuck?” Balthazar asks, settling them both on the floor. His wings come out and shelter them both from the world, warm and soft and familiar. “What happened?”

Castiel doesn’t really know, and right now he doesn’t care. He curls into Balthazar and scents him with something close to desperation, clings to him to make sure he doesn’t just disappear beneath his hands. “Thought you were dead,” he finally manages to whisper. “Hurt, Balthazar.”

A rough curse from the Angel who is excellent at pretending he doesn’t care. Balthazar tugs him closer, a rough purr rumbling in his chest as he tries to soothe his mate.

“I’m here now,” he promises, stroking Castiel’s hair back. Grace wraps around him, and Castiel imagines the ache in his bones is lessening already. “I’m here, my raven.”

Castiel closes his eyes and buries his nose in Balthazar’s neck. He knows, deep down on an instinctive level, that it will take weeks for the effects of pining for his mate to fully heal, but the small ball of warmth in his chest tells him he will heal.

His mate is alive.

Heaven and Hell can go fuck themselves.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos make an author's day <3


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